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Fear take's up too much time....

Somehow, someway I need to get over this fear I have. Why I have It is beside me. Think about it, Im a server, one of the most sociable jobs in the world. You would think I would be completely comfortable speaking in front of people. People I don't know, or someone I am meeting for the first time doesen't intemidate me, but I let the people who i know the most get inside of my head without even letting them know. This is strange i know, but I had to get this out. Shouldn't fear work the opposite of how I describe my current situation. Give me time to adjust to my current platform, eventually I will adapt... but putting me on the spot seem's to make me freeze up and go in to epileptic shock! Im exaggerating of course, but that would be a gift knowing I wouldn't have to face my fate!

I know facing my fears is the way to go. The only other thing to do i guess would be to hide from reality, and I think we all know how far that will get us.

Changing for the better...

I think I need a change of scenery. Vegas Just isn't quit doing it for me anymore, not that it ever was. Sometimes do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? You already know you are suppose to be doing something eles with your life, but it's just you holding yourself back. Well, I feel like this every day, but now I think it's time I do something about it. No more procrastinating, "well".... i will at least try to use most of my wasted time in a more productive manner. Time is moving by extreamly fast these day's. We are all growing up, friends are graduating, and heading forward with there lives. Don't get me wrong, Im not just sitting on my a** and doing nothing, but there is deffinately more I could be doing. For example writing, and working on music, which I do this more now than I have the past couple of years, but not enough. Somthings missing though, I haven't figured it out yet, but I will search until I find it. I have been inquiring about school the past couple of weeks. So far all of the institutions that I have looked at have either been in Califorina, or in other states. I looked at a few places here, so far I have been disappointed for one reason or another. I know I wont find a school or a place that is right for me over night, but so far the start looks promising.

you never know

You never know what you had, until it's gone.

Im sorry you had to learn that the hard way.

Iv'e been tugging and pulling, trying to hang on to our reality.

Letting go is so much easier the secound time.

All the time it takes to become whole again, that time is cut to none.

Perspective on life and your purpose seem so vibrant

You move to forget, just then every thought in your mind is lucid to perfection

Picking up the pieces so to speek have never felt so wonderful and troubling at the same time.

Forgive and let live you told me, and that just what im gonna do.
It's been while

My reason for originally opening this blog well... there were many reasons, meet new people, writer's and musicians. Converstion with people passionate about life ext. It's been a while since I have been on here, but I would like to start posting more! that will be a personal goal for myself. I will try to post at least once a week. This probably mean's nothing to all of you lol, but this will still be my goal.